Thursday, 20 December 2012

It's the end of the world



I’m trying to make sure I get this written and published well before the 21st. I’m pretty certain it won’t be the end of the world, but I want to make sure there’s still plenty of time to do some serious eating, drinking and being merry should things start to look at all portenteous...

If it does happen, I’m going to be incredibly pissed off. Because Friday 21 is also my last day at work until January 2 and, apart from weekends, I haven’t had a day off since the end of August. For the world to end just as I’m about to start an 11-day break would be irritating to put it mildly.

My employers are also counting on it being a normal day, because they’re insisting we’re not going to be let out early, apocalypse or not. Admittedly, they’re making what for them is an extravagant gesture by getting us all pizza for lunch, but that doesn’t seem like an end-of-the-world gesture. Mind you, if it turns out they’ve got us Waitrose pizzas I might start to worry again.

The myth debunkers, meanwhile, have been trying to calm us all down by likening the Mayan calendar to one of our own, observing that we don’t all start panicking towards the end of December each year when we notice there seem to be no days after the 31st. The fact that next year’s calendars have already been in the shops for at least six months and that most of us receive at least three, plus a couple of desk diaries, for Christmas is, however, a fair indication that another year is generally expected to follow.

Perhaps it’s all down to a delay caused by the Mayans still working on their next 5125-year calendar which, let’s face it, is going to take a lot of work, especially as there are a lot fewer of them than the last time they had to put one together. That goes double if they’re doing it a page a day and, unlike last time, they’ll also need to ensure they’ve cleared copyright on all the pictures they’re using.

The good news, however, is that when they finally do get it printed, all this publicity should boost their sales considerably.

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